Everybody Loves a Wonky Altar

I’m not sure if I need more coffee this morning, or maybe should have had a bit less – but reading this article about the 1,800 year old altar to Pan found in a Byzantine church in Israel brought out the mom in me. I picture the situation a little like this:

Other gods and goddesses: “It’s outside the lines and sloppy. The lettering isn’t right. Wow. Some altar. I think your followers got into the wine, bro.”

Heliopolitanus Pan : “Well, he tried. It’s the thought that counts.” slides altar to the side and sends the believer a thank you dove

Hera, very sternly: “HE MADE IT FOR YOU AND USED HIS OWN MONEY. I WILL PERSONALLY STRIKE DOWN THE NEXT GOD OR GODDESS THAT SAYS THE CHILDREN’S CRAFTS ARE NOT THE BEST GIFT EVER.” starts crying Mom tears and inspires someone to create the first refrigerator so Pan can put the wonky altar on it

I mean, aren’t the best gifts to the ones we love the ones that we bought with our own hard-earned allowances and lovingly carved out of Play-Doh with the little plastic knife contraption? A hand carved, slightly wonky altar is way better than the same old, same old rich guy offerings, Pan.